In Search of Her Own


when it's all over but the
fundamental crying
& our elbows begin to
bitch slap themselves
in accordance with the law,
i will cocoon myself
in knit jersey & dove shampoo
while fan blades roar quizzically
emit wind kisses & word limps, rinse
the static of you from my body
where i

held
took
ate
slept
breathed
dreamt
collected
wore
was
you.

when the insurrection comes--primitively, tribally,
stationing its screaming self underneath my fingernails,
i will wrap my body in the eclipse of the moon
in the epitome of fetish
in a hallelujah dress
in growling girl attire
in plain jane fancy,
hold a berry breath &



catapult



into the revolution.


when it arrives, safely
inside the lining of my belly
& this body begins to gestate--meticulously, beautifully,
while giving up marrow & moving,
i will unhinge my hips
stutter all over myself
spread wall to wall plastic & swell
until the mumbles words syllables spit
scream at my feet & then


coo.


because i am soft like that
mad like that
passionate like that
breathing
learning
living
dying
growing
trusting
loving
moving
seeing
feeling
fucking
sensing
wanting
waiting
inviting

becoming

a silver maple sprouting in clusters
chocolate mint growing in circles
sweet basil coming up in wild clumps of palliation

a mad poetic woman

who once loved a boy
and left his tremors
in search of her own.